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Supporting Obama, "Yes we can!"
A Column by the Editor
posted November 10, 2008
COLUMN – Now that “spread the wealth
around” Barack Obama has won the Presidency our local governments and
companies should institute President-elect Obama’s policies starting
now. The people have spoken and it is time we all get together and
support our new president and his wonderful campaign promises. Yes,
let’s institute “Change”, Obama style.
Everyone should make the same amount of money regardless of how hard or
long you work, if you work at all. All Edgefield County government
bodies, municipalities, and businesses would have to work under the
newly created department of the Office of Society’s Homeland Economic
Equalization Transition, or OSHEET, to assure that everyone is sharing
the wealth equally.
As such, all those who work for a living will have their wages combined
into a single account each week. Once those wages are collected it will
be equally redistributed by OSHEET to all workers, and those who do not
work, each week if the form of a “tax cut for the middle class”.
This will no doubt encourage those who have not worked for decades and
have been unfairly subjected to the affects of government handouts such
as welfare, disability, and food stamps, otherwise known as “the man”,
to share in the fruits of the labors of the working class, otherwise
known as “the evil rich”, and enter the workforce to do “their fair
Utopia awaits us. I can’t wait.
Just as President-elect Obama said before his election, voters would
stand in the voter’s booth and a great light would shine upon them and
would realize they had to vote for him. I too have had an the gift of
understanding bestowed upon me with his election.
And I am pumped. “Yes we can”, is my new life slogan.
No more shall the downtrodden be overlooked. It is time we overcome,
rise up, and “share the wealth”.
But my eyes have not just been opened, they are now wide open, and I
see the wonderfulness that is Barack Obama. Wealth does not just come
from working hard in the workplace, it goes far beyond, and it reaches
all aspects of our lives. “Yes we can!”
We can spread this wonderful way of thinking to all things in our
lives. Sports, academics, college entrance exams, and job employment.
“Yes we can!”
No more will there be a winner in any sporting event. All points scored
by each team will be collected on a single scoreboard and at the end of
the game both teams will end the game in a tie. If your team scores 48
points and the opposing team scores 0, they will tie at the end with a
score of 24-24. Glory be, why hasn’t anyone thought of this wonderful
system before? “Yes we can!”
Grades in our schools should reflect our collective and unbridled
support of our new President. All test grades of students in school
will be reported and then equally redistributed to all students
regardless of how well or how poor they do on tests. There will no
longer be a Valedictorian, everyone will be Valedictorian and each will
get to give a speech. “Yes we can!”
The SAT and ACT will be conducted in like manner. All students, whether
they take the test or not, will have the same collective score
presented to them so they can enter college as an equal, after all it
is “only fair”. “Yes we can!”
Applying for a job as a branch manager of a bank and you have 25-years
experience? Not fair! Billy-Bob has never worked a day in his life and
he should not be discriminated against because he only knows how to
catch catfish and skin a skunk. So, you will both have 12.5 years of
experience redistributed equally, and Billy-Bob, because he has been
“disenfranchised” in the past, should get the job. “Yes we can!”
Insurance companies will also no doubt follow suit. Don’t smoke, don’t
drink, don’t do drugs, and don’t engage in homosexual activities in
bathhouses in San Francisco? Who cares? You will pay the same in
“universal healthcare” as anyone who does. “Yes we can!”
The same goes for car insurance. Never had a wreck, speeding ticket, or
any other infraction? What makes you so special? Doing your “fair
share” means paying the same as the guy with 18 DUI’s. “Change We
Believe In – Yes we can!”
Change is inevitable – Progress is not.
original material is property of
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without the expressed written permission of Edgefield Daily.com
JAM Straight Customs
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With the Editor’s wife being the driving force behind her own personal
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grilling, sauces, and deserts! Send in your submissions here.