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10 Dumbest Things to Say to a Cop Contest: First Round of Voting Gets Underway

web posted August 18, 2014

COUNTY –  The first round of voting for the Top 10 Dumbest Things to Say to a Police Officer is now underway. Below you will find 24 entries that made if through the initial phase, with duplicate entries eliminated by the date the entry was received. With readers voting, we hope to narrow the list to ten and then submit an actual poll to determine the proper order of the entries to determine the winners. Good luck to all those who entered.

Below are the entries to be voted on. Of the 24 entries, pick ten you feel are the best and email the list (numbers only) to the editor for the votes to be tallied. DO NOT list them by the order in which you think they are the funniest or change to number given to an entry. Doing so will cause your vote to be counted toward another listing, not the ones you choose.

Example: Your list emailed to the editor should look something like this (taking even number entries for the example) 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20 and in the order they appear in the listing. The final vote will determine which will rank where in the Top 10 list.

1. Officer: Any drugs, weapons, or any other illegal substances?
Person: No thanks, I've already got all that.

2. Police Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?" 
Citizen: "Fast enough to get you to put down your doughnut!"

3. Officer: how much have you had to drink.
Person: in dog beers just one. 

4. Officer: Sir do you know why I pulled you over? 
Person: Yes, I was speeding and I let you catch me, how bout best outta three

5. Person to Officer: Hey Dude! You got a rolling paper?

6. Person to Officer: So, don't you text and drive officer?

7. Person to Officer: How was I to know it was YOU I was passing? There's no markings on that car what so ever!

8. Officer stops teenage driver who was traveling at an excess speed.  The teenager denied that he was speeding when the officer said "you were going 90 miles an hour" then the teenager said "sir, you must be wrong, my car will only go 85".

9. Cop pull man over with bottle on seat, tells him he is under arrest for driving drunk. Man tells cop: I am not drunk, I am still drinking.

10. Cop pull man over driving while drinking, tell him he is driving the wrong way down a one way street, man tells Cop: I am not going but one way.

11. Officer: "Raise one leg off the ground, extend both of your arms out to the sides and lean your head back, them one arm at a time touch your nose with your finger"
Person: "Sir, I can't do that when I am sober"

12. Cop turns on blue light and pulls a car over.
Driver says "Did you really mean to stop me or have you made a mistake?"

13. Officer: Sir, did you not know we are conducting checks for speeders and we are looking for violators such as you.
Driver: Officer, I got here FAST as I could.

14. Officer: do you know how fast you were going?
Lady: fast enough for you to smell the donuts in my passenger seat!

15. Officer: that knife can be considered a concealed weapon!
Person: if you think that is concealed you would hate to see wants under the seat

16. Officer:  Sir, we are conducting checks for speeding. You were clocked going 60 in a 45 MPH Zone. Do you have a Medical Emergency?
Driver:   Officer, My wife is getting pregnant today with our first child. I wanted to be there when it happens.

17. Driver to Officer: Want a beer?

18. Officer:  Miss do you know why I pulled you over?
Miss: Well if you don't remember than I'm not going to tell you.....

19. Officer: have you seen this lady she's missing? 
Person : no but I have her sister in my basement .

20. Officer: did you run that stop sign? 
Person: yes I'm late to the party - you should come - fyi bring some beer.

21. Operator: 911 what's your emergency?
Caller: yes where is the closest crack house to me?

22. Officer: Miss is that alcohol  in that cup?
She looks in the cup and say's ...... "Looks like Jesus did it again".....

23. Officer at the Checkpoint: Sir, your eyes seem to be glazed. Have you 
been drinking tonight?
The Driver Replies: Officer, your eyes seems to be glazed. Have you 
been eating doughnuts tonight?

24. Officer: Sir, the reason I stopped you is you were driving 60 in a 30 miles per hour zone.
Driver: Yeah, but I'm only going to driving for 30 minutes…

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