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Did you ever have “one of those days”? Edgefielddaily.com web posted August 3, 2005 Did you ever have “one of those days”? You know what I am talking about, days that before you even get out of bed are ones you dread. You wake up and your arm in still asleep. You stub your toe on the doorframe walking across the room with the lump of an arm drawing your attention and with lights off to not wake the spouse you hobble and muffle things you would not want the preacher to hear you say on your way to the bathroom. Of course, your loving best friend (the dog), has left a bone strategically placed in order to inflict the most pain possible when you step on it. And that is the best part of your day. ”Great” you say to yourself with just four hours sleep and four hours before you were to wake up. Since you are awake, and in a fair amount of pain, you decide to make the best of it. How ironic that thought becomes later. You decide to catch up on the news but your trusty, or not so trusty, Internet Service Provider is “experiencing difficulties in your area.” Well that is just great; the coffee is almost already brewed. One cat wants in, one cat wants out, and the dog just wants to play. At 160 pounds a “playful pup” is more than a handful and as such he is so willing to stomp on the only good foot you have left. With natural reaction one thrusts their head towards the most recent injury. Naturally there will be a kitchen cabinet you will not clear during this maneuver and your nose is the most prominent target as a result. You find yourself half-dazed looking up off the floor at a huge dog licking you in the face as if to say, “you poor stupid human… and you call me dumb?” It is sad when a fifteen month old dog is more insightful than you are to your present situation. Regaining some semblance of a conscious state you pour a cup of coffee and head for a nice hot shower. Navigating the bedroom in the dark with two injured feet, semi-comatose, and with a cup of hot coffee you make it to the bathroom. Shutting the door so not to wake your loved one you have to be sure to drag the bottom of the door across the toe you stubbed the first time you got out of bed. This results in the cup of coffee you have not even tasted being deposited on the carpet causing a stain, which you will later blame on the dog rather than admit what actually took place. You know how men are; since we are dogs we might as well blame the dog. You turn the shower on and feel the water getting warm at your usual setting. At last, something is going to go right. You step into the shower and the water is ice cold. The pilot light has gone out and there is no hot water. In spite of the lack of coffee you are completely awake now. Then you commit the ultimate sin. You say to yourself, “it can’t get any worse than this.” Fate has a way of proving you oh so wrong. You get dressed and think to yourself you will go to the local store to see if the newspaper has been delivered since you cannot read it online. In proper fashion your battery is dead. You consider walking down and reading a neighbor’s paper by flashlight but not on two bad feet you say. Being the Einstein that you are you take the wife’s car. However when you back it out you find it has a flat tire. Being in a semi-comatose state you decide to change the tire and continue the endeavor. Of course when you finally get the car lifted and the tire removed it has to fall on top of the same toe that has been twice injured. You make a mental note to remind yourself to write a letter to Billy Graham and the Pope. You fix the tire, crawl back inside the house and back into to bed only to have your mother-in-law call to tell you what the weather is going to be like today five minutes later. I would go on about the rest of the day but the Grand Jury might send down indictments if I did. Return to Main Page
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