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Mars Trip Opens Up the Sky to All

By: Carl Langley
web posted May 27, 2008
GUEST COLUMN – The good news is that America's Phoenix space ship made a great landing on Mars on Memorial Day. This is a great testament to American technology and the reason this nation, equipped with the finest minds in the universe, leads the world in just about everything.
In the control room where the Phoenix voyage was guided I was stunned by the overwhelming numbers of white faces among the scientists involved in this wonderful operation.
I wondered where diversity went, then it dawned on me that these were engineers of every stripe imaginable who spent their school years deep into books dealing with the sciences.
People like the ones I saw in the space voyage control room are not addicted to smoking the weed, covering their bodies with tattoos and trying out various dance steps to all the mumbo jumbo and clap trap music that now pollutes the air waves.
So what's going on here?
I will tell you what is going on: Intelligence on the highest scale possible, learning that takes ordinary students into the realm of the future and sees beyond the planets and beyond the universe.
Would it not be wonderful if every student in every American school were like these people? They have succeeded against the barricades thrown up by a federal government-controlled education system that is destroying young people less willing to succeed than the NASA engineering wonders.
The ones I saw in that control room were the kind of people who play chess, listen to symphonic music ( the kind of music that puts the mind to soar into the heighths that has always separated man  from the apes) and who spent their leisure hours reading the great books.
My wonder at watching all this unfold and seeing the pictures of the spacecraft on Mars raises a number of questions.
1. Does anyone in their right mind believe this could have been done by a cadre of liberals and liberal Democrats who have granted to themselves proprietorship in the resolution of all of life's problems?
2. Does anyone in their right mind believe that this journey could have been planned and carried out by the crooks and criminals, the unsufferable blowhards and giveaway artists now holding memberships in the U.S. Senate and House?
For me, this journey also raises some intriguing possibilities.
1. We could perhaps entice Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, two world class hustlers, to make the trip. We only have to promise to give them the title to the place, with assurance they will be regarded as gentleman farmers.
Jesse and Al have never enjoyed the benefits of manual labor nor held 8 to 5 jobs so we will have to send along some help.
Therefore, I think the second ship out should include those who hate this country and are constantly demanding reparations, even from those of us whose families never were involved in slavery.
We also can use Louis Farrakhan's Mother Ship to fly out his church members who prove daily that HATE is more than a four-letter word.
To help populate this barren place we can send along on a later spacecraft the staffs of the Internet hate sites, meaning but not limited to the Daily Kos, the Huffington Post and Media Matters, and include with them the Earth Firsters, Greenpeace executives and fellow travelers who could provide guidance in setting up farming operations in an environmentally friendly way.
We also may be able to persuade Congresswoman Maxine Waters to head up oil exploration teams on the red planet, but only if we let her divvy up the oil leases. The first leases probably would go to her family members, proving that Washington works, even in outer space.
I suggest Maxine because I saw her on television talking about "socializing" American oil companies, so this would be a short leap for this genius. Poor Maxine really meant "nationalizing" the nation's oil companies but we can't blame her for the mixup because she evidently is a person  with limited intellect.
To prove that I am a man who is always thinking, I have a fallback plan that should warm the hearts of anyone who has ever lost a lawsuit to a predatory lawyer.
If Al, Jesse and Maxine refuse to take up our offer of all the free land they can handle, perhaps we can use the place as a holding pen for Islamic terrorists, after which we can provide transportation to the planet for all the ACLU lawyers who want to represent these stinking murderers in defiance of the safety and well-being of all us real Americans.
I can't think of a better place for ACLU lawyers to practice their craft than on the lifeless plains of Mars. Such a setting would be in keeping with the depths of their souls.
Oh well, we who really love America can dream can't we?


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