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  Lesson Plans Understanding The Cause Part 2: Motivation By Ben Dawson web posted March 8, 2010 LESSON PLANS – (I will be using the masculine gender for simplicity; please change to the feminine if that is applicable to you.) How can a parent motivate a child mentally? As stated last week, there must be personal sacrifice on the part of the parent to change the child’s mental attitude. You must show the student what he is learning is worthwhile, that the process of studying pays off, and he does have the aptitude to progress. The parent must become an intricate part of the child’s studies. This does not mean you are to ever do the child’s work for him. I hope everyone understands that doing a child’s work FOR them sends one of two messages to the child. One, “I’m going to do this for you because I don’t think you have the ability to do a good job; I don’t want to be embarrassed by your poor quality.” Or two, “I don’t have time to waste on this foolishness.” Both messages can be detrimental toward encouraging a child. Besides, it usually causes the child to engage in a lie the next day as he takes claim for work he did not do and has no idea how to do. What I do mean is, you have to be consistently interested in what the child is doing - not every now and then, but every single night your child does homework. You have to be an encourager, a coach, a sounding board, and a solver of problems. You have to offer praise and monitor their successes. The child will work in the beginning in order to please you because you are patiently giving of yourself, and he feels you believe in him. After a while the positive results will carry into other areas because his grades will go up, his teacher will take note, peers will notice, and the child will start to feel a little more self-assured. Hence, a child that started doing his work for the parent that was loving and encouraging, now begins to roll into a self desire to achieve because he can finally see positive results from the work he is doing. At this point the reasons for excelling in school become intrinsic- the mental goal we were hoping for! What does this cost the parent? It cost many hours when you want to be cooking dinner, running errands, or relaxing after a hard day at work. It may cause you to miss that TV show you wanted to watch or that newspaper you longed to sit quietly and read. It may cost you money, as you have to buy supplies for projects, support school fundraisers, or turn down overtime at work so you can be home in the evenings. Take caution, if the child ever feels you are helping him grudgingly - if you complain, blame the teacher, or fuss at the child for what you are having to give up - all is lost. You see, it cost personal sacrifice. By grinning and enduring, you are saying, “This work is important, doing your best is important, and most of all, you are important to me.” I cannot tell you how many times I have talked to the parents of a struggling student, and they tell me the following: “I send my child into his room for a designated period of time each night to do homework. I don’t see why he fails his tests. I restrict him over and over for not studying, but it doesn’t seem to do any good. I don’t know what the problem is.” I do. The child does not know where to begin studying, the material is not going to seep into their brain through osmosis, and restriction is not going to make it suddenly happen. The parents need to give of themselves, show interest in the child’s work, and invest time in the child's homework. Parents often state the following reasons why they cannot help a child study: I’m too busy after work - I have too many children to help them all - No one helped me when I was in school - It’s not my responsibility - I’m just too tired - I don’t know how to do the work myself. To all the above, I say a respectful, “Baloney!” You chose to have children; now make another choice, “Do you want to see them succeed or not?” If you do, it takes personal sacrifice on the part of the adult. Period! This hardship of sacrificing your will and your time will not last long. In the blink of an eye, your children will not want your help any longer. They will mature and realize they are fully equipped to do a magnificent job on their own. You’ll probably miss the time you spent doing schoolwork together, but the love of a child who feels his parents care about him is reciprocated many times over; now isn’t that worth every second you've invested! Special Note: Jim Rex, SC State Superintendent of Education must have read (I flatter myself) my February 4th article, entitled, “Budget Woes Send Education Backwards.” This past week, his “EdReach” (a message he sends to SC educators via Email) was entitled, “Sliding Backwards.” Jim Rex concluded his article with these remarks: “As State Superintendent of Education, I have called on the State Legislature to pass comprehensive tax and funding reform, including increasing the cigarette tax to the national average, with half of the proceeds going to keep our teachers from having to be furloughed and the other dedicated to health care.” “This is the time to be heard. Please contact your State House and Senate members and ask them to stand up for these ideas. A full listing of email addresses and contact phone numbers is available online. You can also call one of the following numbers to make your voice heard: SC Senate Switchboard: (803) 212-6700 SC House Switchboard: (803) 734-3000.” © Copyright 2010
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